NO can stop you from doing it.
NO can crush what you thought was going to happen.
NO can send you into a child-like fit.
NO can upset you.
NO can make you cry woefully.
NO can beat you down….
IF you let it… or if you can finally get through the devastation stage….
NO can make you try harder.
NO can make you become better than you thought you could be.
NO could send you soaring into a new league you never knew existed.
NO can be a start of a new direction.
NO could be the perfect way to lead you into something you would have never chosen yourself.
NO could get you to your YES faster.
A quick story to demonstrate such a simple concept. When I was in elementary school, I got the opportunity to sell chocolates to fund a school field trip. We were given 250 chocolates (that were quite yummy I might add) of various types, all with the wonderful, yet hideous scribble of WILL YOU DONATE A DOLLAR? on the wrapper. Nothing screams desperate like the attire those chocolates wore. Anyway, hitting pavement was expected, so I was more than willing to put in that time. But I remember 2 houses for 2 separate yet amazing lessons.
HOUSE 1: I will dub this house “THE HAND” because that is all that crept out when we knocked.
The Hand and a booming voice saying “NO” cut off my quivering spiel before I had a chance to say “Hello my name is…” and rattle on my rehearsed pitch.
As a scared little kid, I apologized profusely but thanked him anyway with a smile. I could not see the face, as the mesh door rattled, but I thought that’s the end of this transaction. But, before I knew it, I was pulled into the following conversation.
Squeaky me: “Thank you sir!”
Booming V: “Thank me? For what?”
SM: “For speaking with me and giving me my “no””
BV: “Excuse me, I’m not buying ANYTHING!”
SM: “I understand that sir, but by giving me my next “no”, I am closer to my next “yes!”
BV: (PAUSE) Rattle, Rattle…creepy door opening. “I’ll take $50 of whatever it is”.
SM: “Right away sir!”
No doubt that this one incident set such an imprint in my memory that I honestly take “no” to mean “beginning stages of mutually-beneficial negotiations”, even now.
HOUSE 2: THE PATRON
The marketing ploy of the glorious “WILL YOU DONATE A DOLLAR?” was horrendous. I had to justify the wrapper too many times to count before I had the brilliant lesson of the PATRON.
Clear as day, the ugly scrawl demanded the dollar, and when I visited the patron’s house, he asked what the purpose of my visit was and how much the product was. The Patron was a no-nonsense guy and even at a young age, I understood that his time was valuable. I tried to remember my speech and stammered through incongruous parts. Then, I got so nervous I just yelled, “I just want to travel”, much like a deflated balloon, ready to accept defeat and move on from Mr. Busy.
“Well, why didn’t you say so?” he jumped with glee. At this point, the word eccentric comes to mind.
Clapping his hands (I kid you not), he says “How much can I contribute?”
Um, are you kidding me? I thought. Whacko. Well, the wrapper does beg the sad question so I didn’t have to. I held one up.
It was like if you are at an EVERYTHING’S A DOLLAR STORE and asked what the price was. So my snarky self said “Well it does say ‘Will you donate a dollar?’ But I guess that’s just a suggestion?”
“How many have you sold?” I don’t remember the figure, but I told him I needed to raise $250 and I was almost halfway there. That is when he proceeded to ask for 3 candy bars. SWEET! Score!!
He went to retrieve the money and when he returned I handed him his newly acquired purchase, and he handed me $100 and said keep the change.
“Sir, I could come back with 97 more candy bars for you!” I announced.
“What for?” he said “I don’t even like chocolate.”
Lesson learned? The truth is the silver lining to chasing dreams. If you are honest about what you want and how you want to get it, YOU WILL GET IT.
I am flabbergasted, mesmerized, enthralled by the power of that wonderful word “no”. I love it. Let me get to this failure to get it done and over with, because after I get over the ugly cry, it is on to the magic horizon of greatness, and nothing less.
I believe this because I have witnessed it on too many occasions. So cheers to you and seeking failure, I hope you get your “nos” as fast as I do!
Luisa aka princessbliss